游戏成瘾如何预防和干预How to Prevent and Intervene in Video Game Addiction

上海宏润博源
2020-07-29 15:25
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今天想和大家探讨如何预防和应对孩子游戏成瘾。疫情期间很多家长提出来,孩子在家总是在玩手机,不让他玩儿呢,他还要发脾气。我的一个来访家庭,小女孩每天从早到晚打游戏,爸爸很生气,喝醉了回来就把小女孩的手机给砸了,这小女孩以死相逼跑到天台上要去跳楼了,于是父母妥协,第2天就又花8000多块钱,给小女孩买了一个最新款的手机。所以现在的这些情况真的很普遍。遇到这样的状况,我们要怎么做呢?

Today, I want to talk about how to prevent and deal with children's addiction to video games. During COVID-19, many parents mentioned that their children were always playing with their mobile phones at home. Children lose their temper if they are not allowed to play. Take one of my clients for example: their little girl played video games from morning till night every day. Her father was very angry. When he came back drunk once, he smashed the girl's cell phone. The girl threatened to commit suicide, so her parents spent more than 8,000 yuan to buy her a new mobile phone the next day. Such phenomena are really common right now. So what do we do in this situation?




今天我们主要探讨三个内容,第一是人为什么会成瘾?第二是孩子什么情况下容易对手机上瘾,比如疫情期间就特别明显。第三我们会针对性的提出预防和应对的基本原则。

Today we will mainly discuss the three aspects: why children develop addiction?  In what situation do children become easily addicted to mobile phones?  What are the basic principles of prevention measures? 



我们先来看一个实验,把一只小老鼠放进一个笼子里,笼子里只有一个白开水和一个海洛因的水。几乎每一次做这个实验,老鼠都会选择喝海洛因的水,反复的喝啊喝,直到它喝死。但是在上个世纪70年代,一个叫布鲁斯 亚历山大的心理学家注意到了这个实验里面有一个bug,老鼠总是被单独关在这个笼子里,除了吸毒,他也没有别的事儿可以干。

Let's start with an experiment. If you take a rat and put it in a cage with two water bottles: one is water, and the other is water with heroin. Almost every time, the rat will become obsessed with the drugged water and keeps coming back for more and more, until it dies. But in the 1970s, Bruce Alexander, a professor of psychology noticed the bug of this experiment. The rat is put in the cage all alone, and it has nothing to do but take the drugs.




于是布鲁斯 亚历山大建了一个老鼠的乐园,里头有很多老鼠,有他们可以玩球呀,钻隧道啊,还有很多朋友啊,还可以肆无忌惮的啪啪啪,几乎所有老鼠想要的东西,这个笼子里头都有。同样的这个笼子里头也是有一个白开水和一个海洛因,大部分的老鼠在尝试过这个海洛因了之后,都选择回来喝白开水,没有老鼠对毒品上瘾。

So he built a Rat Park, where the rats could have balls, plenty of friends to play with, and they could have loads of sex. When given the drugged water and the normal water, rats in Rat Park hardly ever had the drugged water . 

或许正是人所处的环境,才导致了人会对某些东西成瘾。人类天生就有与他人建立联系的需求。当我们健康快乐的时候呢,就很愿意跟别人建立联系,可是当我们心灵受创了,受到挫折了,被孤立了,被生活打击了的时候,我们就会跟一些能给自己带来缓解的东西联系起来,比如说,无休止的检查手机的信息,比如说刷抖音,看朋友圈,或者是打游戏。其实这个结论颠覆了我的认知,原来一直以为成瘾的原因是自制力不足,没想到成瘾的终极原因竟然是孤独。

Maybe it's the environment that causes people to become addicted to something. Humans are born with a need to connect with others.  When we are healthy and happy, we are willing to establish contact with other people, but when we got hurt, frustrated, or isolated, we tend to bury ourselves into something that brings us relief. For example, check mobile phone information frequently, watch Tik Talk videos , browse wechat moments, or play video games. In fact, this conclusion overturns my perspective. I always thought that the cause of addiction was lack of self-control, but the ultimate cause of addiction turned out to be loneliness.




孩子在手机、游戏中,满足了哪些需求

What needs do children meet in mobile games?

1、荣誉感和成就感

2、与人连接,互相合作的快感

3、进入故事,满足想象力

4、情感麻痹。即时满足

5、自我放松,情绪宣泄的出口

1. Sense of honor and achievement

2. The pleasure of connecting with people and cooperating with each other

3. Get into the story and satisfy your imagination

4. Emotional paralysis; Instant gratification

5. Self-relaxation, emotional outlet


基于以上内容,我们得出了两个结论来说明为什么人会沉迷和上瘾。是人为了满足自身的需要做出的一种选择。而沉迷和上瘾这个行为本身就像一面镜子可以照出他的需要和他的经历,我们很容易可以推测出来他的成长经历,他的家庭教育和他的生存策略。出现上瘾的行为之后,我们干预的最多的不是孩子而是家长。

Based on the above, we draw two conclusions about why people become addicted. It's a choice that people make to meet their own needs. Addiction itself is a mirror that reflects his needs and experiences, and we can easily infer his upbringing, his family education and his survival strategy. When addictive behaviors occur, we intervene most not with children but with parents.




孩子何时容易对手机和游戏上瘾?

In what situations do children become more easily addicted to mobile phones and games?

1、与家长情感连接弱

2、现实生活中打击、挫折多

3、自卑感强、自尊水平低

4、长期遭受虐待和忽视

5、对负面情绪容纳能力较弱

1. Weak emotional connection with parents

2. Many blows and setbacks in real life

3. Strong sense of inferiority and low self-esteem

4. Chronical abuse and neglect

5. Weak tolerance for negative emotions

需要特别注意的一点,是长期遭受虐待和忽视的孩子。它的成瘾指数非常的高。我们要广泛的来理解虐待和忽视。虐待不是说我们一定要去打孩子,而是孩子有需求,我们看见了,但是我不接纳。孩子每说一个意见家长就要反驳,孩子表达任何需要家长都不同意,这样的我们就算是虐待,不光是动手,更多的是精神性的。

We should pay more attention to children who are chronically abused and neglected. It has a very high addiction rating. We need to understand abuse and neglect broadly. Abuse doesn't only mean physical abuse. It means the child has needs. We see them but ignore them: every time a child poses an opinion, the parents refute it; This is also abuse. 



做一个总结,个体在成长的经历中,在满足需要上,如果现实的体验和电子游戏的体验相差的太大的时候,他就会选择快策略,给自己即时的满足,而不去做长远的规划。家长常常对孩子说,你们要对自己负责,要好好学习,天天向上,未来才会有前途。道理他们都懂,但是情绪上无法克服,但偏偏情绪才是调控人行为的中枢。

To sum up, in the process of growing up, an individual will choose a quick strategy to satisfy his needs if there is a big difference between the real experience and the experience of video games, instead of making a long-term plan. Parents often say to their children, you have to be responsible for yourself, to study well. They all understand the importance, but can not overcome the emotional needs, but the emotion is the central regulator of human behavior.







在疫情期间,很多因为手机造成了亲子关系受损。为什么是手机和游戏呢?小孩加入到游戏,立马进入到角色中,游戏一紧一松的就开始分泌多巴胺。这个效果就类似于麻醉剂,能够消除孩子在现实生活中需要没有被满的痛苦。2009年中山大学的研究报告就说人在数钱的时候对疼痛的忍耐力跟吃了止痛药的效果是是一模一样的。

During COVID-19, a lot of parent-child relationships are damaged because of cell phones. Why phones and games? When a child enters a role, dopamine is released. The effect is similar to that of an anesthetic, which removes the pain a child has in real life . A 2009 study at Sun Yat-sen University reported that the pain tolerance of people while counting money is the same as that of those who take painkillers.






如果孩子已经沉迷了,那该怎么办呢?我们前面说过这是他的自我选择,其实不是一蹴而就的,是有很长时间积累的。所以大家就不要简单粗暴的去解决这个问题,不要觉得我把手机没收了砸了,把网都掐断了,这个问题就解决了。就像来咨询的那个爸爸,他喝醉酒了,把女儿的手机给砸了。那我就问他,爸爸的酒瘾怎么戒?把你绑起来吗?你去喝酒也是因为现实生活中的一些问题,你解决不了,想要逃避一下嘛。

What if the child has become addicted? Don’t try to solve this problem in a rough way. Don't think that if I take away the phone and stop the Internet, this problem will be solved. Like the dad who smashed his daughter's phone after he got drunk and came in for counselling. Then I'll ask him, how do you get rid of your addiction to alcohol? Tie you up? You go drinking because there are problems in your real life that you can't solve and you want to escape. Same as your daughter's playing video games.

这是一个系统问题,要解决系统问题的话,我们只改变其中的一两个因素,是不太有效果的。需要在整个系统着手,至少在家长和孩子两个层面上,在亲子关系上建立一个这样的系统。

It's a system problem, and to solve this system problem, it's not very effective to change only one or two factors. You need to start with the whole system and build a new parent-child relationship which entails changes on both parents' and students' sides.



首先家长要调节自身的状态,如果我们自己是个焦虑的、担忧的状态,我们也是一个匮乏的状态,还要在孩子身上寻求价值感,这个时候我们是很难处理这个问题的。

First of all, parents need to regulate their own state. If we are anxious and worried, we are also in a state of scarcity and seeking a sense of value in our child; it is very difficult for us to deal with this problem in this state. 

第2个呢就是要有一个合理的期望值。比如说这个孩子是近期刚刚沉迷于游戏的,跟我们吵了架,这个时候,我们去调整亲子关系,去调整他生活的规律很快就可以解决这个问题。但如果说这个过程已经持续了三个月以上了。不但对家长,对孩子也需要进行干预了。如果已经超过一年了,一不玩游戏手都开始抖了,社会功能已经严重受损了。这个时候我们就要用药物或者用矫正体系先把他的行为训练正常。

The second is to have a reasonable expectation. For example, if a child just got addicted to the game  and quarreled with us. At this time, we can adjust the parent-child relationship and adjust his life rules to solve this problem soon. But let's say, this process has been going on for more than three months. Intervention is needed not only for parents but also for children. If it has been more than a year, the social function has been seriously impaired. At this point we have to train him to behave normally with drugs or a corrective system.






对于孩子的干预,核心思想呢就是把人和机器的连接,变成人和人的连接,在现实生活当中满足孩子的需要。在这个过程当中,我们至少需要完成两个工作。第一是要让孩子接纳自身。比如我们说屌丝逆袭的第1步就是意识到自己是一个屌丝,如果不接纳现实的时候,是不可能恢复自我觉察能力,也不可能实事求是的去做一些事情,这个时候他扭曲的认知,会一直困着他,他走不出来,也建立不起和别人的关系。

For the intervention of children, the core idea is to turn the connection between people and mobile phones into the connection between people and people. Meet child's needs in real life. In the process, we need to accomplish at least two things. The first is to make the children accept themselves. if they don't accept the reality, it is impossible to restore the self awareness and impossible to be practical and realistic to do something. This distorted cognition will make him stuck and not be able to  build relationships with other people.

第2个呢是行为上转变。从沉溺于电子游戏转换到喜欢现实生活。当社会功能初步恢复,家长要替孩子找到替代性的行为,不要让他再打游戏了,比如说出来一起涂鸦,打球,做他感兴趣的事儿,通过这些替代性的行为,让他在现实生活中产生积极的感受。他觉得在这个过程中也很有意思,我们再来强化这个过程,就会达到一个平衡态,孩子就会不再沉溺于电子产品了。

The second is behavioral change: from being addicted to video games to loving real life. When the social function is preliminarily restored, parents should find alternative behaviors for the child and stop letting him play games, such as playing ball games together and doing things he is interested in. Through these alternative behaviors, the child can have positive feelings in real life. He thought it would be fun to do it, and if we reinforce it, the kids would stop being addicted to electronics.





当青春期遇上游戏成瘾,可谓是最棘手的问题,家长们还是要控制好自己的情绪,试着从根源上解决这个问题。尽量不要使用暴力,也不要摔手机,砸电脑,掐网线。因为等着你的很可能是孩子自杀、扇你耳光、离家出走。咱们都是最智慧的家长,通过今天的分享,也习得了一些能力,可以处理好和孩子的关系。如果需要一些帮助,可以随时联系我。谢谢大家。

Video game addiction in adolescence can be one of the toughest problems. But parents need to keep their emotions in check and try to solve the problem. Try not to use violence, and do not smash mobile phones, smash computers, or block the Internet. You could end up with a kid's suicide, violence, or run-away from home. Through today's learning, we are all the wisest parents and can handle the relationship with our children. If you need any help, please feel free to contact me. Thank you.




本文由入驻国际教育网公众平台的作者撰写,观点仅代表作者本人,不代表国际教育网立场。如有侵权或其他问题,请联系举报。

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